很久没读小说了,昨天忙里偷闲读了两篇,放到这里纪念一下。

博士后老张海归记 (转载)

老张的博士整整读了六年。

这六年中,他无数次地憧憬过拿到那张毕业证书,正式成为一个有Dr头衔的
人时的场景。他是会大笑,还是会哭泣?也许会呐喊,更可能会绕着会场狂奔。他想像过无数个场景,而当他真的从老教授手里接过那张薄薄的纸时,他却什么感觉也没有。像是一只刚刚被注射了麻药的小白鼠,从汗毛末梢一直麻木到心里。是无比空洞的茫然。而这种茫然直接地反射到他的脸上,使他在余雨的相机里怎么看怎么平面,有点像是一个活死人。

“你又怎么了啊?天天吵着要毕业,现在毕业了,还板着个脸。我跟着你真是他妈的倒霉透了,瞧瞧你那副棺材脸,看着都折寿!”老张回到座位上之后,余雨不满地挖苦他。老张对此没有作出任何回应,甚至连一丝愤怒也没有——他已经习惯了。有时候他想这究竟是不是一个规律:婚姻使女人聒噪,使男人沉默,然后女人的聒噪使男人愈加沉默,而男人的沉默则导致女人的更多聒噪。不过,不管这个规律是否适用于大部分婚姻,老张的婚姻早就陷入了这个恶性循环是确定一定以及肯定的。老张只是不太明白余雨为什么会变成现在这个样子。在相亲的时候,她虽然不是最出众,但也是十分美好的。那时的她不讲脏话,也不摔东西,也不会用恶毒的语言诅咒老张。但即使余雨变成如今这个样子,在老张心里,她依然是他相濡以沫的妻。他从来没有后悔过当初回国相亲,也从来没有后悔在众多的相亲对象里挑中了余雨。在老张的世界里,这个世界上没有所谓“如果”这个命题,存在即是合理。已经发生的就是既定事实,所能做的就是积极勇敢地去面对它。所以当老张面对余雨暴风骤雨般的辱骂时,没受过什么情感教育的他所能做到的最好就是沉默地包容以及忍让。但余雨和老张想的不一样。她无时无刻不在后悔。如果时间可以倒回到她的25岁,她绝对不会同意和老张相那个莫名其妙的亲,又鬼使神差地被老张的美国博士光环蒙蔽,抛却工作,家人,亲戚,朋友,跟着老张一起来到这个鸟不生蛋的混蛋美国。自从来美国之后,她的脾气变得越来越坏,学会了讽刺,挖苦,诅咒,歇斯底里的怒吼以及摔东西。更让她生气的是,她所有讽刺,挖苦,诅咒,怒吼,以及摔东西的影响对象只有一个,那就是老张,这个一棍子打不出一个闷屁的老张。她讽刺挖苦诅咒老张的时候,老张从来不还嘴,甚至连一点生气的表示都没有,好像她根本不存在,她所采用的一切恶毒词汇对他没有任何撼动力。当她怒吼或者摔东西的时候,老张倒确实会紧张,但他紧张的并不是她,他是害怕余雨的动静太大吵到邻居报警。每次余雨看到老张紧张地搓着手,一副小心翼翼叫她不要吵到邻居的样子她就越发生气:她怎么会嫁给一个这样窝囊的人!从头到脚,怎么看怎么窝囊!

余雨并不知道,任何一个人如果在老张的实验室干上六年活,基本上都会变得像老张差不多窝囊。而老张之所以比其他人要显得更窝囊,则完全应该归功于余雨这一年零四个月以来的陪伴与照顾。

不过,对于老张成功地博士毕业以及找到一个博士后职位,余雨和老张两个人都很高兴。虽然博士后的钱不多,只有三万出头,但是毕竟比老张博士时候的奖学金高出来不少,手头可以宽裕一些,甚至还可以存上一点钱。让余雨非常高兴的还有一点就是他们终于要离开这个荒无人烟的农村了,这让她从心底里觉得欢畅起来。晚上余雨在电脑上看碟的时候看一个当年的下放知青描述当年知道终于可以回城时的激动澎湃的心情,忘我地笑着跟老张说,你知道吗我现在的心情跟她还真是他妈的像。而好久没有听过余雨高兴口气的老张反应又不适时宜地慢了半拍,表情尴尬地给了一个“哦”字,又招来余雨对他的一个白眼和一顿抱怨。

抱怨归抱怨,老张从余雨的口气里还是听出来她心情不错。于是晚上上床的时候,老张壮起胆子,半开玩笑地跟余雨说:“余雨,要不咱们也生个娃吧。”
黑暗中的余雨没有作声,老张便将这看作是余雨的默许,开始往她身上爬。
余雨睁着眼睛,悲哀地看着激动到有点战战兢兢的老张。跟激动的老张相比,没有一丝感觉的她好像是一具解剖台上的尸体——她太清楚他下面都要做什么,因为他每一个步骤都像完美设计的实验程序,每次与每次之间哪怕相隔数月,都几乎没有太大误差。有一刻她看着胸脯白白胖胖松松垮垮估计有A-罩杯的老张,忽然觉得心里有一股说不出来的恶心。这恶心终于让她猛然醒悟过来今天忘记提醒老张采取必要的安全措施,但老张已然完成了他的最后一个步骤,满足地趴在了她的身上,嘴里还不住地说着“对不起,老婆,对不起”。

余雨推开他走进洗手间去冲水,一边冲一边怒气冲冲地对老张吼:“如果怀孕了怎么办?如果怀孕了怎么办?”老张还沉浸在征服的喜悦中,高兴地回答说:“怀上了就生呗!”但是余雨一边冲着一边就开始哭了,一边哭一边诅咒老张顺带问候老张全家,老张就拿着她的洗澡毛巾唯唯诺诺地靠在浴室门口讨好地看着她。老张没有反对余雨问候他全家是因为余雨也不能算是完全冤枉他父母。老张的父母没有太多文化,不懂得什么叫做越俎代庖,在他们看来,他们所做的一切都是为老张,为余雨,为他们家庭的将来好。而且在他们看来,结婚就是为了生孩子,否则干嘛还要结婚呢。所以从余雨刚刚嫁给老张开始,他们就开始督促余雨生孩子的事情,而他们的不当沟通方式也引起了余雨的直接反感。余雨说,我是一个有血有肉的人,不是生孩子的机器,我生孩子是我的事,关你父母什么事?他们想生让他们自己生去。在老张听来,这话实在是大逆不道,且不说让两个五十多岁的人生孩子是否具有可行性,自己活了三十岁也从没能为父母做点什么,生个孩子让他们尽天伦之乐享绕膝之欢是一件怎么也不能说过分的事情。但是余雨说的话从她的角度看,也并非没有道理。所以在这件问题上,他保持缄默了很久,平常也不触及这个敏感话题,直到今夜。所以此刻靠在浴室门口的老张虽然表面上唯唯诺诺,心里却是酣畅淋漓,心里反反复复地回荡着一句“春风得意马蹄疾,一朝看尽长安花”。虽然余雨在哭,但她经常哭,哭哭也就过去了。夫妻吗,就是床头吵架床尾合,何况她即使再生气,她也没有朋友可以找,没有娘家可以回。生活空间被限制在这小小的一室户里,再大的矛盾它也顶不上天去。

过了几天,老张和余雨把家里的旧家具能卖的卖了,该扔的扔了,把其他东西零零总总地收拾了一下塞进车后备箱和后座里,在空落落的房子里留了个影,就开车奔向了新生活。老张告别的时候,眼里闪过一丝泪光,但兴高采烈的余雨并没有注意到。也幸好她没有注意到,否则她一定会嘲笑老张窝囊,受虐狂,在这样的鬼地方呆了六年居然还产生感情了,真是天生蠢材。余雨已经想好了,到了城里,她要好好地学习,狠下一把劲,把托福和GMAT考了,申请上学,结识新的朋友,走出老张阴影笼罩下的小世界,走进五彩斑斓的大世界。至于几天前夜晚的突发事件则已被余雨远远地抛在了脑后,因为她的哭不过是为了震慑老张,而潜意识里觉得窝囊的老张就那一次绝对搞不出什么来。

然而余雨错了。老张就像她当时诅咒的那样,是坏到骨子里的坏。他成功算计了她,先是把她算计到了美国,接着又伙同他的魔鬼父母,算计着她怀了孕,让她的完美计划彻底泡汤。但余雨怀孕这件事在老张看来却完全不一样,是件值得昭告天下的大喜事。他在读博士的时候做了无数个实验,最后才勉强成功了一次发了个论文毕了业。这样一比较,他在造人方面的天赋就显著的多,只一次就成功了,就那么一次。年满三十岁的老张终于要成为一个父亲,他多么高兴,他多么骄傲。他觉得这个孩子是他人生的转折点,分水岭。为了孩子,老张想,自己一定要好好干,多出结果,早日结束博士后的生涯,做上助理教授,将来带着余雨和这个孩子,以及可能会有的下一个孩子,吃香的,喝辣的,其乐融融,做一个美国社会的典型中产幸福之家。老张并没有把这些憧憬告诉余雨,原因有很多。一,他觉得这种话在现实生活中说出来非常恶心,毕竟人生不是小说,更不是电视连续剧;二,他认为只要自己认真去做,余雨一定能够懂他;三,他没有必要为自己找麻烦,接受余雨的再一次打击及嗤之以鼻;四,因为荷尔蒙水平不稳定,余雨的脾气变得比怀孕前更差,所以基本上没有一个合适的机会和气氛对余雨做以上煽情温情矫情的表白。事实上老张在余雨怀孕后,说的话并没有比以前更多。有次余雨发脾气的时候,老张斟酌了很久,跟她说“老婆,不要生气,生气对宝宝不好”,立刻被余雨吼了回去 “宝宝宝宝,你就知道宝宝,我不是个人?!哪条法律规定我不能生气?我一生气我还跑去堕胎呢!”吓得老张赶紧闭嘴。

好在余雨不会真的去堕胎。有时候老张觉得美国确实还是有些非常好的规定,比如禁止妇女随便堕胎。有天他看国内的新闻,说一个怀孕七八个月的80后女孩跟老公吵架,决定不跟他过了,便立刻去医院做了引产,引产完就提出离婚,看得他一身冷汗。余雨也是一个80后,所以老张深信如果自己和余雨身在国内,他在余雨肚子里播种的孩子可能真的无法撑到安全落地。每每想到这点,老张都不由得深吸一口气,虔诚地感谢上苍及美国成全了他一颗赤父之心。

老张的博士后生涯开展的不太顺利,准确地来说是开展的太不顺利。老张的新老板和旧老板在行事风格指导下属上的背道而驰,让从火焰山跳进北冰洋的老张极端无所适从。老张的旧老板是一个有无数想法的人,老张所要做的就是尝试他这些想法看是否可以实现。因为旧老板的想法太多期限很紧,老张并没有时间考虑这些想法是否愚蠢,更不要说培养自己独立找想法的能力。但新老板居然没有一个想法给他。第一次和老张碰面,新老板说完“张,你可以先构思一个项目,想出了轮廓之后再来和我讨论”就拍拍屁股去开会了,将目瞪口呆的老张撂在一片苍茫茫前不见古人后不见来者的异度空间。

总是会有办法的,老张安慰自己说。多看论文,勤思考,一定会有想法的,一定会有的,一定。但是老张发现不知道从什么时候开始,他已经无法坐下来安静地思考,或者说,余雨没有给他任何安静思考的机会与空间。即使他不在家去了图书馆或者呆在实验室,他的心里也无时无刻不牵挂着余雨和她肚子里的孩子,或者说,是他的心已经被余雨的声音和动静填满了。因为效率低下,老张不得不更长时间地泡在图书馆或者实验室里。老张想起来小的时候母亲挑选用来孵小鸡的鸡蛋,对着光照一照,中间有一个小黑点就证明这个鸡蛋可以孵出小鸡。他真想把他要看的那些论文对着光照一照,看哪些论文看了之后会孵化出新的论文来。

老张看完了近期的所有期刊后,却依然没有归纳出任何属于自己的想法。老张是一个纯粹的接收者,像一个黑洞。或者说老张是一个男人,要一个男人努力地去怀孕生孩子确实是太过于难为他。而更大的痛苦是,老张好不容易想出了一个构思,去网上一谷歌发现早在两三年前人家就已经写成论文发表了。老张没有想当初决定读博士是不是一个错误,因为后悔与反思不是他的风格。老张也没有想过转行,因为他的人生已经有十年投入到这个行业当中去,那是他的黄金十年,他不能说放弃就放弃。也许再挖一寸就能见到井水。也许,可能,或者。老张只是越来越害怕那一个月一次的组会。

余雨不知道老张在新的实验室的所有挣扎,她所看到的只是一个早出晚归的老张,一个对老婆和孩子不负责任的老张。她和老张的交流越来越少,老张似乎也并没有注意到。余雨想通了,她是不可能和这个人过一辈子的,尽管她已经有了他的孩。
在心理上把老张当成是一个陌生人以后,余雨平静了很多,在挺着大肚子为自己做饭的时候也不再会哭,也不会在去论坛上讨伐老张的不管不问,让他在无数的跟贴中被骂得死无全尸灰飞烟灭。余雨开始认真地学习准备考试和申请学校。余雨发现这个失败的婚姻让她认识到了自己的坚强。未来不管怎么样,应该都不会比现在更差,更可怕。

该来的终于来了,周日的时候老张的新老板给老张发了一封信,要求和他单独谈谈。老张颤抖着手关掉了邮件窗口,像一个老年帕金森综合症患者,余雨斜着眼角看了他一眼,便低下头继续做题。余雨对他这种惊弓之鸟的状态已经习惯了,烂泥是永远扶不上墙的。她做着手里的题,想像它们是一双翅膀两双翅膀,可以终于带着她逃跑,离开,飞翔。她觉得由衷的愉悦。

进了老板的办公室,老张小心翼翼地在老板对面的位置上坐下来。老板说:“张,你知道我找你来是为什么。”老张说:“其实不太清楚。”老板说:“你已经连续五个月在组会上没有任何发言了。”老张说:“我一直在努力,我在努力。”老板说:“我是付你薪水的。”老张说:“嗯,知道,谢谢。”老板说:“你有没有想过,也许你不适合学术这条路。”老张说:“不会,我知道有志者事竟成,努力一定会有回报的,在将来的某一天。”老板说:“也不是所有的努力都会有回报,进行学术研究是需要创造力与天分的。”老张说:“我觉得我会有。”老板说:“我欣赏你的态度,但是还是要尊重现实。现在全球性的经济危机袭来,实验室的资金到位并不是很理想。”老张觉得一股寒气从脚心直升到头顶,他说:“您能再给我六个月时间吗?”还没等老板说什么,老张听见自己继续在用磕磕巴巴的英语说: “我妻子还有两个月就生孩子了,她没有工作,可不可以再给我六个月时间,我一定加油,一定。”老板说:“张,我的实验室不是慈善机构。”老张说:“我求你,我们全家求你了。”老板说:“如果六个月之内还没有任何进展,我是没有办法再继续雇佣你了。”老张说:“那一定,谢谢。”

老张和余雨的孩子提前了半个月诞生了,是个女孩,只有六磅重。老张捧着小小的女儿,心里百感交集。他给孩子取名叫Ann,中文名叫安安,希望她能够平平安安地长大。而余雨因为产后晕厥,错过了对孩子姓名的否决机会,否则她是绝对不会给女儿取这样一个土了吧唧的名字的。不过她在这件事上并没有纠缠太久,因为她的大部分精力都用于和前来给她坐月子的老张妈作斗争上了。

余雨不爱老张,更不会爱他妈。对于她一个年过半百的人来给她照顾月子,她并没有太多的感激之情。因为这个孩子本身就是他们全家算计她的,他们自然应该负责任。余雨在过去近两年里学会了无视老张,其实与老张的沉默有着密不可分的关系。她发现她就无法无视絮絮叨叨的老张妈。她出了月子就要考试,所以月子里依然还在看书做题。老张妈一看到就要说她,说月子里不能劳神,看书容易变瞎。余雨不睬她,她就说余雨目无尊长。在余雨看来,没有直接顶撞她,已经证明了自己的极高修养和良好家教。

老张没有卷入这场家庭斗争,因为他已经自顾不暇了。有很多时候人们相信奇迹,但奇迹永远只会发生在小说里,电影里。现实中你以为你在最无助的时候买个彩票就能中上五百万,往往是对号码对了半天发现连50块都中不了。所以如果你要是认为老张真的能够在那宽限的六个月中进行头脑风暴,构思风起云涌,那不过是你同情老张,愿意陪他一起意淫做梦。

老张在挣扎了三个月之后,终于意识到他的唯一出路跟网上的建议一样,就是寻找下一个实验室做他的冤大头。于是他跟余雨建议让他妈把孩子带回国去带,这样节省生活开支,更不至于让孩子在很小的时候就跟着他们颠沛流离。余雨二话不说就同意了,孩子对于她来说完全是个累赘,在肚子里的时候是,生出来之后依然是。她的考试结果出来都不错,申请顺利的话到了九月份就可以开始上学了。而开始上学就意味着她终于可以摆脱死气沉沉的老张,絮絮叨叨的老张妈,以及哭哭啼啼的老张女儿。现在有这样一个机会让她提前摆脱掉后两者,有什么理由能让她不欣然接受呢。至于骨肉情深,余雨并没有太多的体会。她认为,只有和爱人生的孩子,才是值得疼爱与珍视的。对于安安,她只能说妈妈对不起你,而不是妈妈爱你。因为她真的爱不起来。

原来经济危机不仅仅会出现在历史和政治课本上,它是一场能够真正波及到每个人的风暴。老张从来没有想过自己和经济能扯上任何关系,在这场危机中他却好像
和经济是绑在一根绳上的蚂蚱。联系了很多实验室,都是一句话:没钱。在危机中依然有钱的实验室都是厉害的实验室,看不上老张这个在实验室做了一年就被老板扫地出门的Loser。但老张还是要感谢美国政府,体贴地把他的OPT从一年延长到了二十九个月,让他尚可以苟延残喘一把,也好歹可以支撑到余雨开始上学。余雨并不知道老张已经失业了,因为他依然每天早出晚归。大部分的时间老张是去公共图书馆,有的时候只是在公园里闲逛。他只是不想让余雨沮丧,担心,难过。她已经好久不再苛责他,这让他非常感激,又非常不安。老张喜欢余雨的安静,像他最初认识她时的样子。而余雨的安静又让他觉得无比的不安,就好象暴风雨来临之前,
总是无比的宁静。他知道余雨拿到了录取通知书,但是什么专业哪个学校一无所知,余雨不说,他就不敢问。余雨依然给他做饭,两个人一起吃饭的时候却尴尬的只有咀嚼食物的声音。老张有时候想开口发声,但看到余雨那张漠然的脸,千言万语往往只化成几个字“嗯,不错,这个挺好吃的。”余雨也并不回答他,仿佛他是个透明的泡泡。

转好身份的那天,余雨给老张摆了一桌鸿门宴。
老张回到家,看见桌上的酱鸭,蒸鱼,西红柿炒蛋,鱼香肉丝,茶树菇排骨
汤以及香槟,堆出一个笑脸,装作很快活地问余雨:“哟嗬,今天伙食不错,有什么可庆祝的吗?”
余雨打开香槟,为他斟满酒杯,浅浅地笑了笑:“我转好身份了。”
“不错啊,独立了。”老张抿了口香槟,“是该好好庆祝一下。”
“吃吧,你回来的晚,都快凉了。”余雨说。
得妻若此,夫复何求啊,老张心想。所有的困难都会过去的,哪怕他转行,
对,哪怕他转行。最近他在图书馆博览群书,大开眼界,学会了沉没成本这个词。他终于明白他的黄金十年已经像泰坦尼克号一样沉没了,他不适合学术界,他要去工业界,老老实实找一份工作,养家糊口。他依然可以带着余雨和安安奔上小康之路。
但是在老张大快朵颐风卷残云觉得生活掀开新的篇章的时候,他听见余雨说:“张晓翔,我觉得咱们就到这里吧。”“啊,我还可以再吃一点。”老张说。
“我不是说吃饭,”余雨说,“我是说我们。”
老张含着鸭子放下筷子:“余雨,这是什么意思。”
余雨说:“我们离婚吧。”
老张偏头看她,一副不敢相信的样子。但是他的大脑却仿佛早已预知这一切的发生,迅速接受了现实,并且让他的眼泪以最快的速度充满他的眼眶,并且沿着脸颊
流下来。余雨看着他这幅窝囊的样子,有些不忍,但她心里清楚地明白,长痛不如短痛,一个错误的不修正,只会引起更多的一连串的错误。在她心里,她和老张这两年多的婚姻,也是一个沉没成本。
在冷静的余雨面前,老张的心像是被石头撞着,是巨大的闷痛。他从来没有像此时此刻觉得自己那么失败过。当他流着泪跪在老板面前请求他再宽限六个月的时候
,他觉得不能比这更失败了;后来他抱着安安去打针,小小的安安被护士扎了好几针哇哇大哭,他抱着安安就陪她一起哭,他觉得不会有比这更无力的时候了;然而他的人生却像是一架笔直向下的过山车,带着惊恐无助的他一路冲向深不见底的地方。他没有想余雨的行为是忘恩负义,是过河拆桥,他只是在想他到底是怎么走到了这一步,到底是哪里走错了。怎么会到今天这样,四面楚歌。想到头痛的老张把脸埋在手里,发出受伤的兽一般低沉哀嚎的声音。

余雨不知道老张的心里一直背着那么重的包袱,也不知道他是在一直怎样努力地用他的方式保护着她。否则她不会选择在老张最无助的时候提出离婚,也或者她根本会爱上他。但是正如老张所坚持的那样,这个世界上是没有如果的。如果老张没有那么沉默,也许他就不再是老张,而是老李,老王,老吴了。老张最终没有告诉余雨他的处境,而是同意了离婚。老张把所有积蓄的一大半给了余雨,虽然没有很多钱,但是尚可以缓解一下她要开始念书的经济压力。余雨同意把安安留给老张,因为她知道老张爱安安比她爱的多的多。老张收拾好自己的东西离开之前,余雨说,有空还可以像朋友一样聚聚。老张看着她,说:“余雨,我没有照顾好你,你一定要幸福。”余雨从来没有听过老张这样讲话,她忍不住抱住他哭。老张小心翼翼地拍着她,没有流泪。因为他的泪水在过去的半个月里已经流尽了,结了痂,成了厚厚的盔甲。他也知道,他不会再和余雨像朋友一样聚聚了,他的失业期已经超过了规定期限,失去了在美国的停留权。
老张回国的机票已经订好了,在五天以后。因为并没有什么地方可去,老张拖着箱子,买了一张不知道去哪里的火车票。他在美国七年,勤勤恳恳,兢兢业业,基本上没有出去旅游过。现在要走了,倒是可以看看美国的大好河山。老张坐在靠窗的座位旁,如饥似渴地盯着路边的风景。而那些风景都是转瞬即逝的,就像老张的青春。他想起高中毕业上大学的时候也是坐的火车,也是一样地看风景。那时的老张还是小张,没有现在这么胖,瘦瘦的,浑身透着一股灵气。然后他想起和前老板的那次谈话,他说,做学术是需要天赋的。然后很久以前,余雨最常挂在嘴边的话就是“张晓翔你怎么那么窝囊”。老张眼里的风景和脑子里的画面交织在一起,难解难分。于是他长长地叹了一口气。
“哥们,咋了?”老张旁边的黑人问叹气的老张。
老张说:“我刚刚离婚了。”
“那确实他妈的糟糕”,黑人说,“不过,女人嘛,没什么。走一个,自然会再来一个,这就是人生哥们。”
这段话让老张想起那首王洛宾的歌:太阳下山明早依旧爬上来,花儿谢了明年还是一样的开,我的青春一去无影踪,我的青春小鸟一去不回来
于是老张就不再和他搭话,开始眯起眼睛睡觉,他实在是太累太累了。

终于,老张拿着登机牌坐在候机厅里,透过巨大的玻璃窗户看着外面的飞机,以及像蚂蚁般繁忙的人们。当初他就是这样一个人来的美国,如今他又要一个人回去
了。未来的路怎么走,他不清楚。他是否留恋这里,他也不清楚。如果是几个月以前的他,他可能会哭,但是这几个月他坚强了很多。他知道即使他哭,他也不会是为离开美国而哭泣,他哭的不过是自己的韶华。但自从他明白了这些过去的投入都是沉没成本之后,他就不容易为这个哭。他也不再留恋余雨,他能够衷心的祝愿她幸福,说明他不够爱她。他们两个本来就是不对的两个人,余雨没有错。过去的已经过去,而未来即将到来。当飞机升空,再次将老张推向椅背的时候,他紧紧地闭上了眼睛。

祝老张幸福。
看到Kurt总召集新年越野滑雪,而且离家不远,计划要参观学习一下。
早晨起来给师妹打电话,祝福一下现年,借机打探一下大部队的行踪,发现Kurt总为了大家的身体健康临时取消了这个有意义的活动。frustrated

看外面冬高气爽,征得LP同意就决定自己去minuteman 看看。
结果发现是正确决定,雪上跑步很开心,还和泡泡鱼不期而遇,更 happy
Trail的雪景很美,又没有什么坡度,跑/走起来不累,是一个很适合同学们交往的浪漫地方。 rose





回家途中又去了North Bridge,雪更好,可惜trail很短。

北桥残雪



回家洗衣吸尘,打扫卫生,新年新气象。
还给宝宝买床,装床,度过了一个有意义的新年第一天。happy

2009 NY Resolusion 12/31/2008 18:30
留到年底对对

1。上馆子限制到《=12/yr (这个最难了,需LD配合 )
2。和LD一起每周锻炼5次以上,strength training一定要上。
3。认真生活,努力工作,快乐生活每一天。
4。理财。(这个最难了,交给LD )
5。每周末留出半天打扫卫生
6。改掉拖沓的毛病,凡事早计划。
7。不被LD乱嚷嚷。

要努力

同学们新年快乐,特别感谢susannameimei的inspiration。 happy

这段时间天气太好了,根本没有时间去gym运动。

今天天气热,上班时间流出去去gym半个小时,跑完步,秤了一下,发现这些日子的户外跑步骑车,没有起到任何减肥效果,体重反而增加3磅。

gym对减肥很重要,很多人一起锻炼,本身就是一种motivation,自己户外活动很容易偷懒。strength training也非常重要,可惜没有时间。 frustrated
Is bike lane safe???? 9/04/2008 17:10
The Boston Phoenix, August 2-8, 2002. 7.

A dangerous & now deadly bicycle policy
A host of good intentions, but a lack of common sense
BY KRISTEN LOMBARDI

photo
DOOR-ZONE DEATH TRAP: critics call Cambridge's aggressive installation of bike lanes next to aprallel-parked cars 'an experiment with human lives.'
photo


IN THE WAKE of Dana Laird’s cycling death last month, many people have pointed fingers at the motorist who opened the door of his black Honda CRV into Laird’s path as she cycled down Mass Ave, in Central Square. When Laird swerved to avoid the door, she was struck and instantly killed by an MBTA bus. Just last week, bicycle advocates and legislators responded to this ill-fated "dooring" incident by staging a well-attended press conference at the State House. At the July 25 event, Representative Anne Paulsen (D-Belmont), who commutes by bike to Beacon Hill daily, unveiled proposed legislation that would make recklessly opening a car door into traffic illegal, punishable by a $500 fine. The bill, she said, would give bicyclists injured by car doors the legal clout they need to sue motorists for damages. Paulsen was followed to the podium by a Cambridge firefighter named Paulo Marinelli, who proceeded to relay his own dooring horror story. While peddling down Mass Ave, in Arlington, he, too, smashed his bike into a suddenly and carelessly opened car door. His collision left him with a ripped rotator cuff and a badly bruised head. As Marinelli, referring to the bizarre circumstances associated with the Laird fatality, observed, "I was fortunate enough not to have been in the way of a bus coming. I count my blessings every day."

The proposed legislation seems well-intentioned enough, but it won’t prevent future dooring incidents. In Cambridge, at least, it’s also more or less redundant. Long before Laird’s death, the Cambridge City Council passed an ordinance that specifically forbade motorists to "open the door of a motor vehicle on the side available to moving traffic unless and until it is reasonably safe to do so," under which the black Honda CRV owner has already been cited. Even more important, pinning the blame on the motorist misses a crucial point: Laird died while cycling in a city-designated bicycle lane. And that naturally raises questions about the safety and appropriateness of the Cambridge bike lanes ― questions voiced by bicyclists and ignored by city officials for years now.

And that’s putting it mildly. On the e-mail listserv posted on the Web site of the Massachusetts Bicycle Coalition, a Boston-based advocacy group, many cyclists have condemned Cambridge officials for building what they call a "death trap of a bike stripe" and for "herding cyclists into dangerous" and poorly designed bike lanes. In rather stark language, one cyclist takes aim squarely at Cambridge’s much-touted bicycle policies: "Responsibility for [Laird’s] death can only be placed on the City of Cambridge for encouraging unsafe (deadly) behavior on otherwise responsible citizens." Rather than the universal symbol for bicycle lanes (a mini bike in a circle stenciled to the pavement), the cyclist continues, "Maybe a skull-and-crossbones would be more appropriate."

Cambridge, it seems, has now found itself in a quandary. City officials have spent the past decade designing and implementing a bicycle program that features not only the installation of bike lanes, but also safe-cycling education and enforcement of traffic laws. It’s a comprehensive effort, meant to promote "the greater use of bicycles as an alternative to single-occupancy vehicles within the city," according to its own literature. As such, Cambridge has become widely known for its stellar commitment to cycling. But have these eager-beaver, liberal policies inadvertently paved the way for a cyclist’s worst nightmare?

TO BE SURE, the tragic death of Laird, an avid cyclist who had competed in marathons and triathlons before the July 2 accident, has legitimized years-old complaints about the Cambridge bike lanes. Ever since 1995, when the city began designating bike lanes, cyclists have argued that the conventional design ― two road-paint stripes with the bicycle symbol marked within ― doesn’t belong on every roadway. According to John Allen, a nationally recognized bicycling expert who helped found the Cambridge Bicycle Committee, in 1991, this design works best on wide streets with little parallel parking. He and other committee members have repeatedly warned officials not to build conventional bike lanes on streets like Mass Ave ― i.e., narrow roadways lined with parked cars ― because at any moment a motorist can open his or her car door and whack a cyclist flat. Installing a bike lane in the "door zone," as it’s called, only sets up cyclists for injury ― or, as demonstrated in Laird’s case, death. "When the city constructs a bike lane that instructs people to ride in the door zone," Allen claims, "it is responsible for the dooring problem to some degree."

Dooring collisions happen more often than you might think. In 1984, for instance, the Metropolitan Area Planning Council examined bike-car accidents in and around Boston, including Cambridge. It found that cyclists who had smashed into an "open door on the driver’s side of a parked car" accounted for 5.3 percent of all bike-car crashes in the area ― a percentage that was five times higher than the national average. The greater incidence of doorings in Boston, the study concluded, has a lot to do with its narrow, congested streets replete with parallel parking. Though the study didn’t measure dooring incidents in bike lanes (which rarely existed back then) per se, recent surveys do indicate that striping a lane in the door zone can lead to trouble. One 1999 survey of bike-car accidents in Santa Barbara, California, determined that 16 percent of cyclists had hit parked cars, up from seven percent in 1974. It attributed the rise to "the availability of bicycle facilities" ― or accommodations for cyclists ― "with on-street parking."

Such statistics became all too real once Laird collided with the open door of that Honda CRV, which propelled her under the rear wheel of a passing bus. (Although the Cambridge Police Department has yet to release its final report on the July 2 accident, news accounts have suggested that Laird might have nicked the door while swerving to avoid it, as opposed to hitting it head-on.) The fatality has served as a wake-up call for many cyclists whose attitude about bicycle lanes has been complacent. Wade Smith, a Cambridge Bicycle Committee member who has commuted by bike for 20-plus years, says he has long felt ambivalent about the city’s bike lanes. He rarely uses them himself. Yet he figured that the city "had its heart in the right place" by aggressively installing the lanes. When he heard about Laird’s death, he says, "The little bubble burst." For him, the issue has grown crystal clear: a bike lane isn’t just "an experiment in traffic control," as officials have called it. Rather, Smith has realized, a lane "is an experiment with human lives." He then adds, "I feel the days of making experiments with humans lives have got to be over."

Robert Winters, who publishes the Web site known as the Cambridge Civic Journal (www.rwinters.com), experienced a similar awakening. He stumbled upon the July 2 accident while walking through Central Square that afternoon. Winters happened to have his digital camera with him, and took pictures of the scene, which he posted on the Web. For him, the sheer horror of it all ― the fallen bike, the jarred door, the painted lane ― has, in his words, "lit a fire under this issue." Bike lanes, he now knows, are more than a civic-minded nod to the casual cyclist. "If you think of the bike lane as a safe space to ride, then you’re sadly, and perhaps even one day tragically, mistaken," he says.

Even staunch bike-lane supporters have had to think twice about city policies. Bryce Nesbitt, a Bicycle Committee member who describes himself as a "strong facilities proponent," says Laird’s death has inspired him to reconsider a design he had assumed was appropriate. Stirred by the accident, he has even gone to Central Square to observe how cyclists use the Mass Ave lane. His observations trouble him. "I watch novice cyclists ride right in the center of the bike lane," he explains, rather than toward the left side of the lane, which is outside the door zone. "There is a significant chance that this design can lead the cyclist down the wrong path."

These newfound critics find themselves paying more attention to Allen and others, who maintain that Cambridge officials have embraced bike lanes with such enthusiasm that they turn a blind eye toward safety concerns. When the city redesigns a road, it aims to install bicycle facilities, according to city policy. Facility designs include the more widely known bike lanes, as well as a host of other street treatments, such as sidepaths, wide outside lanes, contraflow lanes, and bicycle boxes. To date, most facilities in Cambridge are the conventional bike lanes. Oftentimes, officials try to shoehorn a lane onto the most narrow of residential streets, such as Harvard, Norfolk, and Ellery Streets. Sometimes, the lane seems to make no sense at all. The blue-painted lane at the intersection of Hampshire and Broadway, for example, instructs cyclists to ride on the right side of a right-turn-only auto lane. But then, cyclists must veer left ― in front of speeding motor-vehicle traffic ― to continue down Broadway. Although the blue paint is, in theory, meant to alert motorists to bicycle traffic, the lane’s actual path sets cyclists and motorists on a collision course.

Taking in the bigger picture, it’s tough to dismiss the criticisms. One former Cambridge Bicycle Committee member, who left the advisory group after disagreeing with bike-lane designs and who asked to remain anonymous, sums up the sentiment best: "People get caught up in this notion that bike lanes are so good. Lanes tell everyone the government cares about cyclists. We’ll encourage people to ride bikes and stop driving cars, and we’ll all be friendly and happy and fit. It’s like all [city officials] can see is this utopia."

IN MANY WAYS, officials do trumpet the virtues of bike lanes. In the literature about the Cambridge Bicycle Program, you can read about the many advantages of lanes ― including, ironically, the claim that they provide "bicyclists with a path free of obstructions." According to the city’s Web site (www.ci.cambridge.ma.us), in fact, one of the main reasons the administration has designated lanes is to "increase safety for bicyclists." Yet nowhere in the reams of online literature does the city mention the possible hazards for cyclists who ride in a lane in the door zone. Nowhere does it convey the message that these facilities do not guarantee safety.

It’s hard to know whether city officials would defend bike lanes so boldly today. Cara Seiderman, the city’s transportation manager who oversees bike projects, responded to the Phoenix’s interview requests with an e-mailed five-paragraph statement, in which she said that she and her colleagues "are deeply saddened by the tragedy." But she also stressed that all the Cambridge bike lanes "follow the same well-established national standards that are followed throughout the country." Seiderman continued, "City staff works closely with the Cambridge Bicycle Committee to review designs for each street and to take into consideration the experience we have on existing streets, as well as experiences around the country and world."

Seiderman points to national and international studies that have shown that bike lanes can actually promote safe cycling. Two California surveys conducted in the 1990s examined comparable streets with and without bike lanes in Santa Barbara and Davis. The studies found that bicyclists who rode in a lane were 30 percent less likely to ride against traffic than those who did not. As a result, the lanes reduced bike-car crashes by 31 percent in Davis and 14 percent in Santa Barbara. In Cambridge, meanwhile, the city has performed what Seiderman calls "some counts analysis" that determined that the Mass Ave bike lanes have cut in half the number of cyclists who ride on sidewalks in Central Square ― a politically hot topic in the mid 1990s, when city councilors banned sidewalk bicycling in Central, Harvard, and Inman squares, among other areas.

To hear proponents tell it, pointing the finger at bad bike-lane design seems as easy ― and misguided ― as pointing the finger at reckless motorists. Dooring incidents happen everywhere, they note, striped lane or not. On July 10, Cambridge police received three reports about collisions involving cyclists who were hurt when they smacked into car doors. All occurred on roads that offer parallel parking, but no bike lanes. This, proponents argue, only goes to show how the dooring problem cannot be defined as a bike-lane problem.

"It’s unfortunate that the Laird tragedy might turn into a referendum on all Cambridge bike lanes," laments Ken Field, a Bicycle Committee member.

Michael Halle, the committee chair, echoes this sentiment. When asked if the city, in its zeal to boost cycling, had installed bike lanes that compromise safety, he replies, "I would say the bike lanes at the point where Dana Laird was hit conform to federal guidelines, which is what people who design roads fall back on." He then adds, "It’s impossible to say that, had a bike lane not been there, Laird would still be alive."

This is not to say that Cambridge won’t consider changing its policies, however. The one thing on which defenders and critics agree is that the Laird tragedy requires re-examination of the safety of bike lanes. At its meeting last month, on July 10, the Bicycle Committee began discussing what the accident might mean for city policies. Some members, such as Smith and Nesbitt, have called for officials to remove all bike lanes painted in the door zone, including those on Mass Ave. Others have suggested modifying the conventional design by, say, marking a single stripe and a bike stencil beyond the door zone, showing cyclists where not to ride. Still others have recommended that the city create space for bike lanes by reducing traffic lanes or eliminating on-street parking altogether.

The debate has already led to results. Because of the Laird fatality, officials have put plans to stripe a conventional bike lane on the recently re-paved Hampshire Street, in Inman Square, on hold. According to Halle, the city intends to investigate how cyclists and motorists interact by videotaping how they navigate the unmarked road. The point of the exercise is to determine whether cyclists ride outside the door zone when there are no bike-lane stripings guiding their way.

Of course, what Cambridge will do beyond Hampshire Street is anybody’s guess. Seiderman, in her statement, maintains that officials "will continue to follow new research [on facilities] and consider new or innovative solutions where appropriate," and adds that "when we do find new guidance we are willing to make appropriate modifications." But some cyclists remain skeptical. After all, the city has already invested thousands of dollars to build bike lanes on as many as 20 streets, many of them of the traditional variety. If officials were to draft a policy that would ban striping lanes in the door zone, that would mean not striping lanes at all in certain areas ― which, it seems, contradicts the oft-repeated desire to encourage cycling. As Halle observes, "We should be doing things to promote cycling safety, but also promote cycling. That is a very tricky balancing act."

If Cambridge officials need a reminder of the harm that badly designed bike lanes can cause, they need look no further than the 400 block of Mass Ave, where a makeshift memorial honoring Laird stands. There’s something about the scene ― with its scrawled notes, wilted flowers, and red spray-painted outlines marking the crash ― that shakes the soul. Here, it becomes painfully obvious that Laird was not just another statistic, but a human being. Something else becomes apparent, too. As Smith, of the Bike Committee, bluntly puts it, "The real mitigating factor in Laird’s death is that it occurred in a poorly designed bike lane. On this, there’s no doubt."
我觉得那些说刘翔假装受伤的人stupid,不懂运动,训练和体育比赛。

我想问大家一个问题。一个运动员在比赛前受伤不能参加比赛,和健康的参加比赛,结果是最后一名相比,哪个令人尊敬? 哪个运动员是更好的运动员?我认为是能够参加比赛的athelete。一个专业运动员因受伤不能参加重要比赛,很大的原因是训练中犯了错误,导致了overtrain injure。就象马拉松训练,如果跑得太多太快,knee,legs,feet都可能受伤。成功的training应该有一个good timing,保证athelete在比赛的那个时刻处于peak condition。受伤不能参加比赛对professional athlete,是一种shame,比参赛的最后一名都不如。

你以为刘翔赛前因伤退出,对他名誉的损伤会比参加比赛拿不到金牌更小吗?我要是刘翔,如果可以比赛,绝对不会赛前临时退出。不觉得Nike这些公司会这么愚蠢,密谋刘翔干这种对自己的名声没有任何好处的事情。
500 miles ... 8/12/2008 11:34
brag for 500 miles.
Keep running ... happy

旅行的意义 7/12/2008 00:26
我认为旅行的最高境界是把生活中的每个瞬间都当成一种旅行,加以珍惜,但不以物喜,不以己悲。
今天中午小治打来电话说去骑车,看外面阳光明媚,天气预报说的要下雨貌似是不可能的。
想想不能辜负这大好天气,而且很长时间都没有20 miles以上的long run了,这个周末是最后一个机会。就决定老婆和小治一家三口去骑车,我自己去long run。

从家里很容易就跑到了minuteman bikeway. 由于跑步,没有办法带水和食物。由于在家里已经吃好喝好了,一开始没有什么问题。跑过了大概7 miles时,遇到了老婆等人的骑车队伍,我继续前进,他们稍做休息,enjoy 春天的阳光。离开他们不久,我就突然觉得非常口渴,trail上找不到喝水的地方,又不想离开trail,影响跑步的速度。还是老婆好,在8.5 mile 左右的地方遇到我,给了我一瓶水,我一饮而尽,继续跑。过了spy pond,alewife,向Davis Square 挺近,(从家到Davis square 应该是12 mile左右)。到了Davis Square,腿就已经很累了,而且一点东西都没有吃,很渴很饥饿。去了那里的一个CVS,买了一大瓶运动饮料,还有几个energy bar,出来后饮料一饮而尽,吃了两个energy bar,跑向返回的路。

返回的过程更加痛苦,还是没有水,就一直坚持着,这个破trail也没有rest room,幸亏俺对地形比较熟悉,到了大概18 mile的地方是 Arlington Great meadow,俺就转进hiking trail,也没有人hiking,俺就顺路解决了。可能出汗太多,喝水太少,4个小时只去了这一次restroom。

还是没有水,口渴。天上开始乌云密布了。又跑了1.5 mile, 到了Lexington Center,赶紧去CVS,又是一大瓶运动饮料。出来发现开始暴雨了。天气预报没有错。也应了泡泡鱼说的雨天实战演习的预言。推算了一下,这里离家还有4.66 miles。俺就咬牙闭眼的冲入了暴雨中,一分钟之内就全身湿透。好处是被迫提高了速度。没有人愿意在暴雨中散步。其实雨中的风景也很好,骑车的都骑的飞快,跑步的不多,都是很痛苦的表情。这条破trail前不着村后不着店,只好沿着trail 忍痛快跑。

快到终点时雨停了,太阳也出来了。好象这雨就是要磨练我们用的。

最好拖着沉重的脚步到家,大概23.5 miles。前16 miles 大概 是6mph,后面考虑到下星期一就要Boston marathon,害怕受伤,没有能够达到这个速度。现在所以觉得腿比较酸,但不痛,没有受伤的迹象。 happy 觉得马拉松可以跑下来,因为一直没有决定要跑,从没有练习象今天这样的long run,所以会跑得比较慢。

minutemen trail 11+miles竟然没有一个water fountain,也没有rest room,不知道这样的trail是如何设计的。还是castle island设备比较好。

穿着老婆印制的奥运Tshirt,跑起来很自豪。

晚上去了North bridge, 活动一下筋骨。但愿明天可以恢复。
下星期一之前不会再作long run了。 happy

出发前:


回来,衣服都湿透了。


晚上的北桥:
干完一天活,出去跑步半小时,看到Public Garden里的花开了,人来人往,同学们走出室内,到外面锻炼吧。 happy


看了wildcrane的音乐贴,发现这里好多人的乐感很好,崇拜

可不可以推荐一些节拍大概为180 beats per minute 的classical 或者 popular music?rose

觉得这个节拍的音乐跑步时听起来最好了。比如一些movement in Beethoven's symphonies.

还有哪位同学要是有好听的MP3音乐的话,可不可以借一下啊。 感动
几天前去上一门关于aging的课,讲课的professor的website,

http://www.livingto100.com/

貌似有一定的科学根据。
俺算了一下,可以活到95岁。 happy
从来没有去过,听说上海人对外地人特凶,我现在可害怕了。 cry
Boston 的雪夜。 12/13/2007 22:41














雪地里跑步走路都比正常情况下消耗体力大。平常一个小时的路要走两个小时。突然想起了王MM,但愿她登顶的时候不要象这样的天气。保重。。。。
从今天开始, 11/26/2007 23:02
减肥。

由于老婆太贤惠了,每天都有夜宵,加上运动急剧减少,结果体重已经超过了警戒线。

从今天开始,重新开始新生活运动:锻炼 + 健康饮食,坚决不吃junk food。

在同学们锻炼的鼓励下,今天去gym跑了10 miles,感觉身体轻松多了。happy

在BU medical center 附近的同学可以组织一个lunch break 队伍,中午走出实验室,跑步散步顺便谈谈science什么的,争取为祖国健康工作50年。 Success
白天越来越短, 10/17/2007 21:09
黄昏的时候在路上,不经意的总会有种多愁善感的感觉。

天越黑越早,想想不久以后下班天就黑了,冬天的那种感觉就会浮现在心头。

人的记忆很奇怪,好些明明很久的事情,却好象就在昨天,好多最近发生的事情,好象已经很远很远。

挺怀念那种在街上遇到熟人的感觉,比如跑步的时候遇到CrystalClear,在花园遇到Annie,甚至在图书馆前遇到Nike,其实朋友在一起的时间不用太多,不小心就能遇见的感觉最好了。 happy

Charles River的晚霞。以后冬天来了,还能坚持经常来走走吗? frustrated



关于动物睡觉 10/05/2007 12:40
俺昨天和老板去餐馆吃饭,看到游水虾四脚朝天的躺在水缸里,

就问一美女waitress,这游水虾怎么都不游泳啊?是不是死悄悄了?

美女很气愤的回答说,没死,人家在睡觉呢。

我说,怎么大白天睡觉啊?

她说,午睡呢。

我晕倒,说,还会不会醒来啊?不会sleep forever吧。

MM面有蕴色,说俺从来不骗人,

俺就不敢再问了,说抓几个没睡觉的给煮了吧。 我晕

向学生物的请教一下,除了人以外,其他动物睡觉有没有四脚朝天的啊? 崇拜
交主席阅: 人非要有信仰吗?

◇◇新语丝(www.xys.org)(xys.dxiong.com)(xys.freedns.us)(xys-reader.org)◇◇

  人非要有信仰吗?

  段建中http://blog.sina.com.cn/duanjianzhong

  陶世龙先生在他的文章《信?信仰?信仰危机》中说:中国社会缺少的是
“信(誉)”而不是“信仰”,对此我深以为然。

  那么,人活在世上是不是非要有信仰?为了回答这个问题,让我们先查查字
典,看看信仰是个啥东西。

  新华词典对‘信仰’的解释:对某种宗教或某种主义信服
一个关于爬山的梦 3/16/2007 12:10
昨天晚上俺梦到和一MM爬山。

很快就要到山顶了,MM说累了,爬不动了。我说,马上就到了,继续爬一会儿吧。MM说,俺真的是累了,不能爬。我说,人家都说女生比男的耐力好,你怎么可能爬不动呢?MM说,俺就是爬不动了。俺说,装的。

话音刚落,背后来了一只熊,俺说,你快跑。没等俺说玩我掩护,MM就象狂风一样逃跑了。俺在后面怎么也追不上。还好俺虽然没有MM跑得快,还是甩掉了熊大哥。最后跑到山顶,看到MM正在那里散步乘凉观赏风景呢。俺就不是很爽了,问MM,你说你走不动了,怎么逃跑起来这么快? 打你 MM说,俺说走不动了,又没说跑不动。你难道不知道跑步和走路用不同的肌肉嘛。俺当时就惊醒了。

一看表,早晨6点钟,喝了点水就很郁闷的出去自己跑步了。

俺现在很严肃的怀疑,MM们爬山时含泪都是装的。 打你
罗永浩的这段话很有道理。 support

不要那么脆弱,把命运寄托在那些看不见,摸不着的鬼鬼神神手里,活得硬朗一点,彪悍的人生,是吧。真的猛男,敢于直面惨淡的人生,敢于正视淋漓的鲜血,亵渎各种各样的鬼鬼神神(下面笑)有什么了不起的。人说:万一死了,一看,啊!下地狱了,那怎么办?(下面开始议论)去就去嘛,是吧,丰富一下你的人生。下油锅里炸就洗个澡嘛,有什么了不起的!而且我觉得我如果行得正,一辈子是吧,坚持原则,一直做自己认为正确的事,不做坏事,死了以后居然被神惩罚的话,这个弱智神,(下面笑)不要讲他了,是吧。

经常有朋友传教,有时候搞得很痛苦。像基督教的朋友,跟我传教。我有同学朋友信基督教的,走过来摸摸积极传教,搞得很痛苦。他那个思想境界,耶酥的思想境界比我差远了,你叫我怎么作他的信徒呢?!这不是夸张的,他是几千年前的古人,今天很多人的思想境界都比耶酥高!耶酥很狭隘的,他说你要信我哪,末日的时候你就得救,不信就不救。这什么境界?!像我这种人,如果他是好人,不管他信不信我我都救!他连我一个凡人的境界都不如你要我信他什么呢?好多基督教传教的一说到这就憋了是吧,没气儿了,漏气儿了!还有些原教旨主义的基督徒,基督教如果你看圣经的话,上面都是很狭隘的思想。好多死罪,怎么样都要死,这样也死,那样也死!原教旨主义的基督教徒和原教旨主义的伊斯兰教徒一样可怕!什么叫原教旨主义者?就是逐字逐句的地遵守圣经指示,这样的人整天除了杀人还是杀人!中世纪最黑暗、最愚昧、最恶心的事儿都是谁干的啊?你今天有些不了解宗教的人认为伊斯兰教比基督教恶心,其实不是!是伊斯兰教国家还没有实现政教分离,所以导致今天很愚昧。基督教在实现了政教分离原则以后,才不受基督教的牵连和伤害......大家有空去看看圣经。大家有没有看过《七宗罪》这部电影啊?这里面贪吃也是死罪,这就让我很不爽了............
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