I've been teaching now for about 15 years. I have 2 kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back. When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it to school and talk about it, they are welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright and outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "This is Luke, my baby brother. and I am going to tell you about his birthday. First Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in Mom's stomach, and Luke gre in there. He ate for 9 months through an umbrella cord." She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had a camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazament. "Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying ang going, "Oh, oh, oh!" Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. "She walked aroudn the house for, like an hour, Oh, oh, oh!" Now the kids doing this hysterical duck walk, holding her back and groaning. "My Dad called the MIDDLE WIFE. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man." "They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this." Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall. "And then, pop! Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshheew!" This kid has her legs spread and with her little hands are miming water flowing away. It was too much!
"Then the middle wife starts saying Push, push, push, and breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past 10. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff, they all said was from Mom's play-center! so there must be a lot of stuff inside there." Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her set.